I spent my night napping. What an awesome thing, napping.
There are some people out there who do not like to "nap". These people are not to be trusted.
If you don't like sleeping, get the fuck out of here. This isn't for you. This is for me and the people who like me. I'm judging you right now as you read this. Not a grouped version of you. You specifically. By name. That's how I roll. I'm pitying you personally.
Positions
I can sleep in every and all positions, if I do it in public or in front of my dog, I don't feel weird. Sex on the other hand limits me in what positions I can succeed at, also, if I did it in public I would get arrested. In front of my dog, I would be unable to perform.
My Boner
During sex, I can last like an hour when the girl is on top, when I am on top, MAYBE 3 minutes. Alone, I average like 5 minutes before I lose it. In sleep, I can keep a boner like the whole time, go to bed with it and wake up with it. Sleep makes my dick a superhero. A superhero that that works best alone or when the girl does all the work.
Partners
When I sleep, I can have sex with whoever I want. "What's the Danielle Fishell from "Boy Meets World"? Sure I'll have sex with you!" Every night! I'm not complaining about who I'm currently fucking, but let's be real, everyone in the world would have sex with Jessica Alba. Don't fucking lie to me!
Time
This is the only situation where sex wins. If I sleep for an hour, I am fucking ANGRY. But if I fuck for an hour, I was SURPRISED! So, that's about it.
THE WINNER
SLEEP!
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