I have to admit, I have a fairly low physical pain threshold. I mean, when am I ever in pain? The occasional headache, that's about it. I don't get hungover and surprisingly enough, I don't have any real health issues that are present on a regular basis.  But this past Sunday, I went to the beach and I learned a life lesson or two that I'm going to share with you fine folks today.

First of all (and I'm pretty sure I knew this, but either ignored it or just completely forgot about it) if you go to the beach and it is cloudy, it's more dangerous than clear skies and continuous heat. Why? Because Mother Nature is a deceptive cunt. The UV rays are still coming down, but you don't get the warning you would with a clear sky, so you may (if you're like me) fuck up and think you're safe. Not only are you wrong, but you're in for a world of pain.

I'm burnt as hell. My skin literally feels as if I'm consistently burning and itching at the same time. In the beginning it was just constant pain, which sucked, but it was consistent. Now, it doesn't hurt as much, but it itches like crazy as my skin begins to repair itself.

I do not know whether to keep itching it or try and fight it off with mind over matter. Regardless, I'm in for another few days of this at least. It is painful, irritating and a battle of wills. It's like dating my ex-girlfriend Erin, except without the average at best blow jobs.

The second lesson I have learned is that, I don't ever want to go out in the sun again, ever. Fuck this noise. I'll stay pale. This is torture not worth it. I know I'll look fucking tan and like a human being for once but honestly, still not worth it. The evil trick about this sunburn business is, I can't sleep because of constant discomfort. So I stay awake and instead, I itch.

Fucking hate it. Hate the sun. Hate the earth. Hate the beach. Hate you.