These are certain facts I am happy to report.

Tracy Morgan is still the star of 30 Rock.

Chris Brown has at least 5 of the top 100 songs in the country.

Arnold Schwarzenegger spent his birthday with his soon to be ex-wife.

Michael Vick is a millionaire and is on what looks to be one of the best teams in the NFL right now.

Casey Anthony is free (and hot).

       While I don't support violence against women, children, gays or animals I'm so fucking glad that everyone who cried, bitched, moaned and fucking begged for a reason to be offended and angry didn't accomplish anything.
       The truth is, the thing that offends me the most, is people being offended. Here's what it comes down to, people like to be offended, it's a natural fact. Because it's a distraction. Because it tells people they're better than other people. Because it makes us feel important. Because it show that they're sophisticated and above the evils of the world. But it doesn't. Not to me. To me, you getting mad a Tracy Morgan shows me you're sensitive, can't take a joke, no matter how tasteless. To going from in love with Chris Brown to refusing to listen to his music shows me you're emotional, you can't disconnect from the fact that, he might be an asshole, but he's still talented. You cried when Michael Jackson died, but he gave blow jobs to little kids. You got sad when Amy Winehouse OD'd but she did every drug in the book. Biggie and 2pac get shot and you make them heroes when they promoted violence, sexism and drugs. You still listen to them today. Same with countless other rockers, writers, politicians and people of notoriety. You know who offends me more than all of those people listed combined?

I'll give you a list.

Christian Coalition of America
These right-wing hacks claim to be pro family, but not the gay ones. If you're a guy that sucks a dick and loves the guy attached to it and you happen to have a child somehow, they fucking hate your family. Your family ain't shit. This hypocrisy is nonsensical and wrong. They're promoting hate and intolerance, not love and equality. 

PETA
These cunts. Don't even get me started on the arrogance of vegans and PETA volunteers. So I eat a hamburger, it's tasty as hell. You say it tastes like cruel treatment to chickens, but I say it tastes like glory, that's the Mash Bowl at KFC. Listen, if you want to protect animals from getting whipped and mistreated, I say you do like Temple Grandin and develop a humane system for processing and slaughtering animals. Make a compromise. Stop being such an asshole. There's always a middle ground, most of you "activists" just refuse to see it. 

NAACP
Yeah, you served your purpose. But you know what, your time has passed. Yeah, race relations in this country aren't what they should be, but guess what? They're loads better now and you had a hand in that. Rest up, relax. Stop flipping out every time they're is a perceived slight against the black community. You've given the black community an excellent base to which it stands, but here's my suggestion, help to mold it into a success. Help the downtrodden and poor. Focus on education and providing the black youth with more role models. Stop being the victim and start being the victor.

GLAAD
Biggest. Fucking. Assholes. Yeah, yeah, I know, they're the new "it" minority. They've got a lot of power so they try and push everyone around. Anti-bullying ads, okay, I see it. It's wrong to pick on people. But you have to wonder why is it that suicides of gay teens take precedent over suicides of teens, in general. You want the same rights as heterosexuals, you deserve it. I get that, but you getting pissed off about a movie line from a comedy that specifically says that it's use of the word gay is not intended to be regarding homosexuals but instead another commonly used meaning. Such an uppity group of self important assholes, all of a sudden you get support and power and now you've got this self indulgent focus on being the underdog and you can get offended at everything. Fuck, you're probably offended that I wrote about this group the most, instead of realizing, this is the biggest of the rights groups in this country right now so in turn, it deserves the most attention.

       The point is, it's one thing to search out equality, tolerance, respect, civility and fairness. But the blind ignorance of failing to realize that there are people out there that don't share your opinion, but could possibly still be good, honest, hardworking people? That's offensive as hell.

Not all Republicans are homophobic, sexist, racist, anti-Semitic buffoons.
Not all omnivores are selfish, insensitive schmucks who hate animals.
Not all white people are racist, also, every race can be racist. Not just us.
Not all gay people are out to throw their sexuality and genitals in your face.

       You just want to box them in and in turn, do to them what you so loudly cry that is being done to you. Oppress and marginalize. So get off of your high horse. Equality is exactly that. If you want it so much, stop fighting for special treatment, earn it instead.

       Become the politicians, organize your group, compromise, inform, educate and interact. Ignorance is powered by the uneducated, so work to end ignorance, but at the same time, stop being ignorant yourself.

Harry Potter had that shit right on.

"Fear of a name only promotes fear of a thing itself."

       Stop being offended by words. I understand it sucks to be called a nigger, a faggot, a dyke, a kike, a spic, a hick, a chink and a twink and a whole lot of other things. I'll never be able to fully empathize with you, I won't but I can tell you this, it feels fucking great to be called a name and as an adult say to myself "who gives a shit" and keep it moving. It doesn't even give me pause and while you might say "it's different for you, you're a straight, white male". You know what I say to you? "Yes, I am, but I wish you could do it anyways, because you'll be able to focus on more important things."

Like hating how fucking fat you are.

PS - Please, stop making fun of my weight, I'm very sensitive about it.

PPS - To the people who think I wrote this to offend people (continuing the cycle of offended assholes), you're wrong. I wrote this because I feel like people are too sensitive. I very rarely go out of my way to offend people. I'm what you call a "natural talent". I don't want to offend you though,  I'd rather you not be offended. But when it comes to either you being offended or me censoring my beliefs, fuck you, be offended. I'm not your babysitter, you want to get coddled? Stay inside your house and never, ever leave it.